To spank or not to spank, that is the question?
The Bible (The word of the Lord God Almighty) advises us "to train up a child in the way he should go, so that when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). As Parents, therefore, we must teach our children. We cannot leave the job to the school, the church, or the media. It is our God-given responsibility as parents.
The Bible also emphasises that "He who spares the Rod, hates his son, But he who corrects him shows him that he loves him” (Proverbs 13: 24; see also Proverbs 19:18, 22:15).
The Bible is NOT encouraging us to physically or verbally abuse our children.
DO NOT PHYSICALLY, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, OR VERBALLY ABUSE OUR CHILDREN. Therefore we need to know when to Spank, when not to Spank, where to Spank and how to Spank.
When Not to Spank
- For childishness or immaturity consistent with age
- For lack of ability
- For Accidents eg. Spilling food, bed-wetting(!), etc.
- When there is insufficient evidence of wrong-doing
- When we are angry, irritated, tired, or depressed
When To Spank
- For deliberate disobedience – A challenge to parental authority
- For uncooperative attitudes
- For dishonesty – lying, stealing, cheating etc.
Where To Spank
God has provided a nicely padded area for this. The palms of the outstretched hands may also be used.
How To Spank
- Remember, never to do so in anger!!
- Take time to allow yourself to calm down…….let the child know the reason for his punishment……….administer the spanking……….allow for a period after, in which you let the child know that he is still loved, and hug the child.
- Never use a whip or any such implement. Sometimes your own hand will suffice.
- Remember also, that a soft reprimand letting the child know how much you have been disappointed by his action can have a tremendous effect on that child.
Watch What We Say In Our Anger
Verbal Abuse can have as much [in fact, sometimes even a more long-lasting] of an effect on our kids than physical abuse. ………. “yuh no good”, “yuh too black an’ ugly”, “yuh will neva come to anyting”, “yuh wutliss jus’ like yuh fada”……....are things said to kids far too commonly. Sadly, these criticisms often have adverse effects on kids which haunt them throughout their childhood and often into their adult life. Now, I can hear some parents saying “I have adhered to all these principles and more, and yet my kids have rebelled.” Remember even the Lord God Almighty faced this same Dilemna!! [See Isaiah 1:2]............So be encouraged and take heart.
We need the Wisdom of the Lord God Almighty in Bringing-Up our Kids.
Dr. John Royes